Da Fat Man is Back!!!!! Helga and Donna

The Fat Man hasn't written since the late and very great Word of Mouth Magazine went the way of all flesh and departed this vail of tears. The fact that he of triple extra large girth has not scribbled any notes to the general public in some time, does not mean however that Josephene, the ever faithful long low black 1938 Buick Special Streamline Sports Sedan, has failed to transport the rotund one to palaces of temporal pleasure.

Alas, some of the most wonderful places he of piled upon poundage has ever known have been discovered and died since he last wrote. The Fat Man is, as ever, committed to Real Food, made by REAL People. Stuff that you can't find at just any old miserable god forsaken freeway off ramp, you know that bland tasteless cardboard corporate death food that is placeless, yet annoyingly enough, everyplace. We don't review Subway, the Olive Garden, Mc Nasties, Burger Chump, joints with red or blue roofs,genuine imitation Boston seafood places,corporate awful bland Mexican joints, or any other national chains. Yuk! If something must be acceptable to anyone and everyone everywhere, it can't possibly be anything but mediocre. What was it that Jewish Prophet guy said "I would rather you be hot or cold, but being lukwarm, I spit you out." The same should be done with corporate mediocre food. It's biblical, after all......

So, Today his chubbyness is writing oddly enough, about diners past who were killed by the common enemy of all that is local: Greedicus Landlordicus Rat Bastard Maximus. This is a particularly rapacious species that devours, solely for short term return, its tenants, while using its related species : Lawyer Rat Bastardicus No Veritas and adjucaie Mammon Servicus Corruptis. But before one must detail the pain of long slow undeserved and unjust death, allow he of triple chins to regale you with stories of past glories....

First, let us remember and honor one adventurous,brave, determined, hard working woman, who after a career at Earthlink struck out on her own with her Momma's Soulful Taco recipe, a pile of jammin Soul food recipes, and a whole lotta grit. One marvelous Sistah of Soulful eats, Helga Khun. Yeah yeah Helga is babalicious to be sure, but who cares! Her FOOOOOOOOD at the great now gone Bessie's Daughters Soulful Tacos, was ultra yummie!

Ox tails full of fine rich slow cooked flavor falling off the bone, dirty rice that was hearty, greens spiced not with pork, but delicious chunks of smoked turkey, ultra large Bessie's ground beef or chicken tacos that were spicy, with crispy chewy shells, a pretty darn good breakfast menu, Sunday Soulfood of some slowly baked chicken, macaroni and cheese like my Grammie used to make, divine sweet potatoe pie, and my personal favorite, the Ultimate African-American/Latino fusion food, the Martin's BBQ Link Hot Link Taco. The sausage was indeed made local in Altadena by Anita and Walter Martin, spiced hot and pleasant with a texture that was just a wee bit on the rough side, so it had some chunk. Put that delicious link in a perfectly fried taco shell, both crisp and chewy, add lettuce, cheese and tomato, and there you all are, PERFECTION.

Bessie's Daughter's Soulful Tacos, of course, had some birthing pains like any brand spanking new business. It took the staff, all local hard core unemployed kids, a bit to learn to quickly cook and put together most orders. O.K. the glass topped tables were not always pristine. and it took almost a year to get a reliable, customer service oriented crew together. The deepest problem Helga faced however, was a problem totally beyond her control, her Landlord and his manifest shortcomings.

Her landlord was the builder of her complex. Helga signed a lease with the Landlords leasing agent acting also as her agent. Uh Huh..Helga was given a completion date for the complex and leased her equipment. The opening date was over a year later than agreed. There were arguments about what tenant improvements were her responsibility and the Landlords. Said Landlord had made several oral representations about modifications to the lease, he did not deny he made them, he just always answered with "Thats not what the signed lease reads, read your lease."
Even these problems could have been overcome, but what could not be overcome was the intermittent stench of sewage. In his haste, the Landlord had incorrectly laid a sewer drain, a fact he insisted had nothing to do with the pervasive aroma. This aroma was present before Helga began operations and when she was doing her tenant improvements. She complained then, and she complained constantly. The County at first said it was the improperly laid sewer line, but quickly changed its "mind". The battle raged for two years until Helga's finances were completely depleted and her business totally ruined. Then as if to twist a knife of insult to the injury, once she was damaged beyond repair, the Landlord fixed the problem. So a redevelopment project that was supposed to be an engine of local business development and locally based prosperity had destroyed one plucky determined local African-American woman's economic health. This was done with the complete knowledge and co operation of the County of Los Angeles. Of course the landlord greatly benefits, because Helga Khun took the bare studs of the project, installed the electrical, plumbing, drywall, hoods, sinks, floors, bathroom, countertops and finish electrical, and under the terms of the lease, abandoned them to the Rat Bastard Landlord. He got her rent. He got all his operating expenses for her space,he provided a inferior product, he got her improvements. She got nothing. That's the state of Real Estate Law in California.

Helga's was a loss of hope. The hope that African-American Altadenans would participate in their local economy and be blessed from the development they had fought for during a twenty five year period. The loss of Donna Stars South Lake Italian Kitchen (SLIK) was different and in some ways a deeper loss. SLIK had been in business for fifteen years,and had there built a community of regulars. Many a Altadenan. Almost a third of the customers were Altadenans because this place was the closest diner that embodied the values of the Altadena Community.

Donna paid her staff well, she insured them medically, she gave them days off, they were a part of her family. Donna's customers became part of her family. This was in part, because Donna introduced everyone to everyone else, made certain we all got to know each other and because she was committed to good food. Donna had the BEST FRENCH FRIES in the San Gabriel Valley, and her Cheeseburger was unequaled for quality, freshness and flavor. The best the Fat Man has ever eaten. Donna made Fish and Chips that were better than any except those over at BRITS, her honey mustard pine nut salad was divine, the spaghetti Marinara with Italian sausage was as good as that my parents next door neighbor Mrs. Deluco made. Everything at SLIK was wonderful. The place was full of Roberto Quintanna's art pieces and photographs of Donna's pet dogs. It was individual. You were in a REAL PLACE, that was a specific PLACE and NO OTHER PLACE. The company was full of interesting people who actually thought about the issues of life and respectfully but voiciferously discussed them. It was a family, a community, a cultural treasure.

Enter another Rat Bastard Landlord ( you should be able to hear melodramatic organ music whenever the term Landlord is used). This one bought the building,and found a odd little section in Donna's lease that enabled her to evict Donna, her business, and her community without cause, within 30 days of purchasing the building. Rat Bastard Landlord is all about maximizing profit today, now, instant gratification. So with three years left on her lease, and after having always paid her rent on time,SLIK was served with eviction. Donna had in her community several lawyers, Larry Melke, who while a developer is a decent moral human being, and friends ready to fight for their community. They fought hard for almost two years. In the end, the unjust lease, insanity and raw greed, and a judge who is an imbicile, won out over decency, good food, local culture, justice, righteousness and community.

A year ago SLIK closed and recently a hyper expensive really ugly frogurt chain outlet opened up in what was once a home away from home. This is a business that could not possibly do enough volume to make the rent over time, so expect a high turn over rate at this location. I wonder how a Landlord really makes a profit on that?

We have a economic system not of merit, not that rewards hard work, but one that really is nothing more than piracy. It is a miracle in this climate that any local business can survive. Here at Haunts of the Fat Man we will celebrate them.